Testament

1. Breathe in love, breathe out love. Breathe in the negative, breathe out the positivite. This is no easy process. This process I had to learn being alone with God. They say walking with God and the relationship we should have is similar to breathing. The process of how we breathe. With God is called spiritual breathing.

2. My process started May 14th 2015. This day would change my course of life forever. Like most addictions, we get hooked. I got hooked on portraying this image as the alcoholic, the ghost. This writer that drowned in liquids to think he needs to cope and consoled in the world. I tried to hold an invisible place inside of it.

3. There was a battle. I could feel it after every death. So I drunk more, drove more, drown deeper. So automatically, without another call, I chose to deal with it myself. I chose to write and figure out a way to live on with all the baggage, bondage, and burden. It's what we're taught since birth. See God is present but he's not present, if you know what I mean. God is there and here for us throughout our whole lives, but we choose to never activate him and therefore we never allow him to be present. Powerful. Deep.

4. So I kept on living, doing my own thing, friend's pass away, I dress up, collect their last photo, and walk back into that world. Unprotective. Until on May 14th 2015, the war for my soul was tested. I crashed, literally. And on that night, after the pieces and parts were swept up, I fell to my knees and cried out for forgiveness.

5. Now after that, I did everything in my control I can do to the situation. It wasn't until Satan came back in to test me along with God. I was getting sued personally for something that I have done but also repaid in full with my control. In my control, I stopped going out and drinking and driving, but that only resulted in my alcoholism to kick up a notch. So I took myself out of society's way to keep them safe from myself. But it dawned on me, who is keeping myself safe from myself? God?

6. Then somehow someway, God showed me an epiphany. That what all of this was being caused by was because of alcohol. Every choice, every decision, every action and event that has happened to me with alcohol only destroyed and damaged the path. I dug deep, deeper than I have ever dug, just to find the root. And once I found the root, I had to kill it, pull it out, and try to plant again. With this transforming information, I chose to stop one day, first with beer then going to couple months later without alcohol in general. My last shot of alcohol was on August 7th 2018.

7. So in this transition, I became addicted to other things, like coffee for instance. I need it to fill that void with something positive. So I needed to quench The Thirst, in this world and out of this world. So I began to drink coffee and learn how to walk in the positive.

8. But there was this force behind my strength. So I woke up one Sunday morning, went to church by myself and stood in the back. December 9th 2018 the song played and I pulled out my phone and recorded it. I then began to let the words fill me up in tears started to pour out. The lyrics kept repeating "I surrender" so that's exactly what I did. I surrendered. I surrendered my life to God. I felt. I felt it all throughout my heart. It was time. He's been asking for me to, he's been searching for me, he's been knocking on the door and I finally opened the door.

9. I've been through this process, a four-year process and plan with a purpose. He used my greatest ego booster, coping method, and origin to see how it had control of me. To see the damage it really cost me in the end. It cost me my life, my friends, and everything I thought I owned.

10. See my heart was never bad , it was just tainted. Tainted with the world's love and not his love, agape love. Once I surrendered in December, I was reborn in January. With a renewed heart and mindset. A new purpose and plan was attached.

11. I am not from this world, I'm only of this world. Everything I once owned, now belongs or has always belonged to God. From January until now, the end of October, I've been living for him and through me he is using me to reach, teach, preach, love and peace. That is why 1LOV3 was created, it is a creation from the created from the Creator to create more love.

12. To spread the good news and faith. I am a changed man, a man of God. Come and join me, transform yourself into the real you. Share your story with me and others, and rejoice in good faith and the good news.